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Wednesday, January 17, 2001 Life progressing to one big advertisementCULTURE SHOCK Life is full of moments where you could sit back and marvel at its beauty. But if advertisers had their way, that beauty would be brought to you by some mega-corporation. Advertisements are popping up in the strangest places these days in an effort by companies to siphon off every last ounce of the populace's decision-making abilities. Stadiums and arenas are no longer bastions of civic pride for sports history past, but rather just another avenue for a corporation to slap its name on something big and attention-getting. Teams that used to play at Boston Garden, RFK Stadium and Tiger Stadium now perform their athetic heroics at the Fleet Center, FedEx Field and Comerica Park. In 1996, Pacific Bell agreed to pay $50 million over 24 years for naming rights to the new San Francisco Giants stadium. In April 1999, energy giant Enron Corp. agreed to pay $100 million over 30 years to name the Houston Astros' new ballpark, and seven months later, Federal Express agreed to pay $205 million over 27 years for naming rights to the Washington Redskins' new ballpark. It doesn't even matter if the company is doing that well. The company CMGI, a developer of Internet companies, is bleeding cash and firing workers. Its stock price was down more than 90 percent in 2000. Yet, despite $664 million in losses last quarter alone, CMGI still plans to spend $114 million over 15 years in a deal it signed in August with New England Patriots' owner Bob Kraft to call the team's new stadium CMGI Field. Okay, so sports stadiums aren't that surprising. At least the teams aren't owned by companies yet. If advertisers had their way, you could have the AT&T Ravens vs. the MCI Giants at the Sprint Super Bowl at 10-10-220 Stadium. And the players for football and other sports don't yet don the cacophony of advertisements that you see paraded around by the likes of racing stars. But it's coming. Blank space on a uniform means lost revenue. Someday, we'll even have companies paying top dollar to slap their logo on the armpit are of an athlete's uniform, just so they'll get the coveted exposure when successful athletes raise their arms in victory. You heard it here first. Actually, the deal NASCAR has with its stock cars, plastering them with brand names, has pervaded into other parts of society. The borough of Stockertown, Pa., population 650, needs a new fire truck, but taxpayers found the $250,000 price tag a bit tough to handle, especially considering the town's $328,000 annual budget. Fire Chief Joseph Catino Jr. found a used truck for $35,000, but even that will be tough to swing. So, inspired by the logos plastered all over race cars, Catino has offered to sell advertising space on the new truck. "This fire put out with the help of Joe's Diner." Here in Florida, a company says it will pay drivers up to $400 a month to cover their cars with advertisements. Autowraps Inc., which already has about 200 ad-covered cars in California, Oregon and Washington, says it will soon be signing up drivers from Miami to Orlando. Florida Highway Patrol Maj. Ken Howes said the ads would be legal as long as the license plate is visible and the headlights and tail lights are not obscured. Businesses pay the company between $1,000 and $2,500 for each car. I commend advertisers for thinking up these ideas. You make money where you can. But sometimes I think they go too far. There's a company out of New Jersey that wants to come to Daytona Beach with its unique form of advertising -- for the beach. The company drags a large steamroller-type wheel across the sand, leaving temporary, repetitive advertisements on the shoreline. Now, your romantic strolls on the beach can brought to you by your local surf shop -- a treasured memory indeed. Advertisers leave no stone unturned. But they also have vision. Take the company that bought advertising space to go to outer space. Last year, a French rocket sold space on its fuselage to an aspiring company that thought people would be able to see it when the rocket launched. This got me thinking that advertisers will be sponsoring grander things than football stadiums in the future. I figure if it's big, then it's prime advertising space. So in the future, we'll have the Tostitos Grand Canyon, the Sony Wall of China and the Exxon Pyramids of Egypt. Say goodbye to those old friendly bodies of water, the Pacific and Atlantic, and say hello to the Microsoft and Turner Broadcasting oceans. Maybe the Caribbean will be known as the Sea of Jane Fonda. Eventually, entire countries might sell out to corporate sponsorship, which in turn might make wars much more civil. Instead of bloodshed, you'll have corporate takeovers. Eventually, the advertising phenomenon will shake free of its earthly bounds and gobble up celestial bodies as well. I don't see why companies don't already fund astronomers to find new planets and comets so they can be named with corporate sponsorship. And what's bigger than a planet, or entire galaxies not already named for a candy bar? Why not let companies help pay for bringing up babies? In exchange for prenatal care, child health care and college tuition, families could give up naming their children after grandfathers and favorite aunts and make way for corporate-sponsored names. Well, maybe they could just give up the middle name. |
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