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Bully for You: Teasing Hurts, Too

By KRISTEN STERNBERG
NIE EDUCATIONAL CONSULTANT

Have you ever heard the verse, "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but names will never hurt me?" Name-calling, teasing, taunting, what's the problem, right? People don't get hurt if you call them names - or do they?

Bully Self-Defense

Martial Arts expert Terrence Webster-Doyle, center, teaches students Joer, 8, of DeLand, left, and Jaime, 9, of DeLand at the Modern Martial Arts Academy in DeLand evasive techniques. These classes are designed to help control school violence by teaching kids what to do when they are confronted by a bully. (Photo: News-Journal/Kelly Jordan)

Teasing takes many forms, but the most common is probably the put-down. It's easy to do - when someone looks or acts a little different from you, or works at a different pace, it may make you uncomfortable, or impatient. The next thing you know, you're name-calling! Brainstorm for a minute-you can probably think of lots of names that people use as put-downs. Picking up on physical features, such as calling someone "shorty" or "four-eyes," for example, is an easy way to point out that someone is different from you.

Since when is being different a bad thing? Most people, especially kids, are searching for their "place" in the world. They need to know that they belong, that their bodies and their minds are just as good as anybody else's. And it's important to realize that many of the things kids are teased about are not something under their control - wearing glasses, their height, family situation, and so on. We all have different strengths and different weaknesses. Some are better at sports, some better at reading, some better at drawing or painting. It's our differences that help to set us apart and make us interesting.

One way to appreciate differences in others is to imagine that every one of us is exactly the same. Pretend, for a minute, that we all look, dress and talk alike, that we are all good at the same things, have the same experiences and interests and so on. It would be pretty boring! What would we talk about with each other? How would we ever learn anything new?

Kids are not alone in their teasing. Adults can pick on other adults, and sometimes they even pick on kids! Although some experts maintain that teasing is simply a form of play, just a part of growing up, many others say that put-downs can really leave emotional scars. Read the recent News-Journal article titled "Put-downs can scar confidence" to find out what experts on both sides say about this issue.

Sticks and stones may break your bones, but name-calling, taunting and other forms of teasing and bullying can have a lasting effect. If you're the one teasing, it may give you a moment's satisfaction to call someone names. Remember, though, that to the person you're making fun of your teasing can leave an emotional bruise as real as if you wielded a stick or a stone!

Let's face it: Teasing is negative. It hurts, and it is a form of bullying. At times it can even lead to violence. Imagine if we could turn all that negative energy into something positive! One way to do this is to appreciate our differences and find ways to use each others' strengths. There's a place for everybody in this world, and if we could cooperate on getting things done together, rather than hurting others, everybody would benefit.

Read on for some newspaper activities about learning to cooperate, and then check out some web sites to find out what you can do if you are being teased.

Try these fun activities using The News-Journal!

  • People who tease or bully often feel inferior to others because they don't realize their own worth. Use your newspaper to find at least 15 positive words to describe yourself. Take a sheet of paper and title it "I am valuable because I am…" or "Did you know that I am…" Clip the words you found, then arrange and glue them onto your paper in an interesting design. Hang your creation on a wall, bulletin board or refrigerator as a way of sharing with others. (Sunshine State Standards: LA.A.2.2.5, LA.B.1.2.1, LA.B.2.2.6)


    • A Bunch of Meanies

    (Photo: News-Journal/Nigel Cook)

  • Finding differences among people is easy; finding similarities can be much more difficult. Find and clip photos of 5 people you see pictured in the newspaper. You'll also need to read the article that accompanies each photo. Then, for each picture you cut out, use what you saw or read about that person to list things you have in common. Is that person about the same age as you? Does he or she live in the same area, or like to go swimming, for example? Give yourself extra credit if you can find more than 4 traits you share with each person in the photos. (Sunshine State Standards: LA.A.1.2.2, LA.A.2.2.5, LA.A.2.2.7, LA.B.2.2.1, LA.B.2.2.6, LA.D.1.2.1)


  • Bullying is not limited to individuals. Many of our world conflicts are the result of one or more nations, or one groups, trying to bully others. Use your newspaper to find examples of conflicts between nations, and think about how the involved parties are different and also what they have in common. What could you tell each of them about how they might work together to stop the conflict and get along? (Sunshine State Standards: SS.B.1.2.5. SS.C.2.2.1, SS.C.2.2.2, SS.C.2.2.5)


  • Read your newspaper's advice column as a guideline for the next activity. As you read each topic, try to predict how the advice columnist might respond. Did you agree or disagree with the columnist's reply? Next, pretend you have your own advice column, and you have received a letter from someone who is a victim of teasing. Write a response to that imaginary letter. What advice did you give? (Sunshine State Standards: LA.A.1.2.1, LA.A.1.2.2, LA.A.2.2.3, LA.A.2.2.5, LA.A.2.2.6, LA.B.1.2.2, LA.B.2.2.3, LA.B.2.2.6)


  • Conflicts come in many forms, including teasing, physical fights and debates, for example. They can occur next door to you, or halfway around the world. Search your newspaper and count all the conflicts you find. Keep track of how many conflicts were resolved peacefully as opposed to how many involved violence. What is the ratio of peaceful to violent resolutions? Convert your findings to percentages. Then, graph your results. (Sunshine State Standards: MA.A.1.2.2, MA.A.1.2.3, MA.A.1.2.4, MA.B.2.2.1, MA.D.1.2.1)

    • A copy of Florida's Sunshine State Standards can be found at intech2000.miamisci.org.

    Check out these links to learn more:

    "Did you know that bullying occurs, on average, every seven minutes?" Follow this story, by writer Joanne MacDonald, and some other newspaper writers' reports on many aspects of bullying at one web site devoted to the problem. The site also offers tips for dealing with bullies if you are a victim. (www.bullybeware.com)

    Are kids naturally mean, or they naturally caring? Although this web page is technically aimed at parents, you can learn much yourself by visiting What Makes Kids Care. (www.apa.org)

    An organization called Youthwork offers lots of advice about bullying. Check out its web site and follow some of the links to find out, for example, what causes bullying and how to take action against it, or find advice for kids and even a hot line for people who need help or advice with a teasing problem. (www.youthwork.com)

    Operation Respect, founded by Peter Yarrow of the folk group Peter, Paul & Mary, disseminates educational resources that are designed to establish a climate that reduces the emotional and physical cruelty some children inflict upon each other by behaviors such as ridicule, bullying and-in extreme cases-violence.

    The Newspaper Association of America's web site contains links to many newspapers in the U.S. and around the world. Check out some of them to see if they have recently published any articles on this issue. To access the newspapers at the site, select a state or click on the "Internationals" button to choose a country.

    Published March 12, 2001.
    Updated March 23, 2004.

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