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Aging Grandparents: Nursing Home or Living at Home?

By THERESA RAPOLTI-SABATINO | NIE Educational Consultant

Grandparents are very special. They are our connection to our heritage (family background), they have experienced historical events that we can only read about and they often have extra time to spend with us. Some children are fortunate enough to have their grandparents alive and are able to spend time with them. In some families the grandparents even help take care of younger children while parents are at work. Grandparents, however, do get older just like everyone else and often the family must make plans for meeting their needs. By the way, there is an interesting article in the Monday, August 12, 2002 issue of The Daytona Beach News-Journal beginning on page 5C. The article gives examples of some issues concerning grandparents and their families.

As grandparents grow older, perhaps even developing health problems or needing specialized care, children may contribute to the decision regarding where grandparents will live. Modern medicine has allowed people to live longer but health problems still exist and can affect a person's capabilities. Aging, health problems and financial concerns must all be considered when planning for the care of grandparents or any senior citizens. Family structure and patterns of living have changed greatly in the past 10 years and it is common for family members to move to different cities or states to benefit their careers or just to live somewhere different. Having an extended family nearby is not always possible. Distance between family members can add to the difficulty in deciding how to care for grandparents.

There is not a definite solution to where aging grandparents should live because every family has different circumstances to consider. Deciding where grandparents will live and how they will be taken care of often brings a lot of stress to the family members involved in making the decision. Family members do not always agree upon the best way to be certain that grandparents live in the most beneficial setting as possible. Aging, senior citizen rights and senior citizen care combine to create a very controversial issue.

Many people believe that the most important way to show love, loyalty and respect to an aging person is to allow that person to make his or her own decision about how they want to live and where they want to live. If a grandparent cannot live independently because of health concerns or finances, then the decision becomes more difficult. When the time has come to consider available options, there are many factors to take into account. Many families choose to have the grandparent or grandparents move into the family home so that they will still be involved and contributing members of the family. Having grandparents live in your home with you can have many benefits because grandparents can spend more time with all family members. Children often enjoy spending time with their grandparents and grandparents, who intern, can help the family with meal preparation, supervise young children and help with homework assignments.

After considering all of the factors involved in deciding where grandparents will live, some families believe that a special care facility or retirement home will be the best situation for aging adults, especially if their health conditions are severe and require frequent treatment. If this is the choice made by a family, then consideration must be given to the quality of care that will be provided, the expenses, the location and visiting times. Grandparents and all senior citizens are important to their own families and to society. Deciding on living arrangements and care is a serious decision and it is important to understand that whatever decision is made, spending time with the aging person is very important for all of the people involved. Senior citizens have a great deal to offer to the people who take the time to be in their company. Consider your own family and the families of friends to observe how this controversial issue has been resolved and how well it is working. A few activities are suggested to help you understand and relate to senior citizens in your family or community and to help you benefit from interacting with these wonderful people.

Try These Interesting Activities using The News-Journal

1. Interview a senior citizen. First scan The News-Journal for a listing of senior day care facilities, senior organizations, or senior activities. With permission, contact the organization or adult day care center to schedule a time to visit. Ask to speak to the activities director for the best time to visit and suggestions for which senior citizens are likely to be interested in participating in your interview. Taking notes during or after the interview may help you remember important details. Interviews might begin with questions about their heritage and then the subjects' childhood, where they grew up, their school day activities and any special events that happened in their lives. After your interviews are completed, share what you learned with your teacher or a family member. (Sunshine State Standards LA.A.1.2.1, LA.B.1.2.1, LA.B.2.2.1, LA.B.2.2.6)

2. Donate some of your time to visiting a "homebound" senior citizen. Review The News-Journal for local retirement homes or nursing homes. With permission, contact the facility, ask for the director or the activities director, and make arrangements to visit or call a resident. Many senior citizens do not have family to visit them regularly and your friendly visit or phone call may be greatly appreciated. (This activity would be excellent if you have a family member or family friend who might like to receive a visit or a phone call). (Sunshine State Standards LA.A.1.2.1, HE.C.2.2.5)

3. Create your own "expanded family tree". Begin by drawing your self at the top of the tree. Draw branches on the tree to list your parents or caregivers. Continue drawing branches to list each of their parents. To make your "family tree" special, scan The News-Journal for titles, headlines, or pictures that express something interesting or special about yourself and about each family member. Add this information to your "family tree" drawing. Continue to let your "tree" branch out with as many family members as you can list. Add something interesting from The News-Journal about each person. (Sunshine State Standards LA.A.1.2.1, LA.A.1.2.2, VA.B.1.2.1)

4. Make a collage with pictures of people who are different ages. Scan The News-Journal for pictures of people of different ages that you can cut out. Using glue or tape, secure the pictures on a piece of construction paper or poster board. Make your collage extra special by writing your own comment about each picture. Include pictures of people with their pets or people involved in activities such as swimming or painting. Ask your teacher if you can share your collage with your class and tell about your pictures and comments. Sharing may help other class members become aware of the activities, relationships and needs of people of different ages. (Sunshine State Standards LA.C.3.2.3, VA.B.1.2.1, LA.C.3.2.1)

5. Write a short poem that describes someone special that you know. This special person can be of any age. Review The News-Journal to find words to cut out and become the title for your poem. (Sunshine State Standards LA.B.1.2.1, LA.B.2.2.2, LA.D.2.2.1, LA.E.1.2.1)

A copy of Florida's Sunshine State Standards can be found at intech2000.miamisci.org/.

Check Out These Links To Learn More

Find information and ideas about understanding the needs of senior citizens/ grandparents at www.suite 101.com. This site offers different perspectives about how to improve relationships with senior citizens in your community or your own family.

The website for "The National Council for Senior Citizens" has ideas and resources regarding aging family members or friends. This website also has information about quality of life for seniors. Viewing with an adult may help you to understand issues that concern senior citizens. (www.ncsinc.org)

A great resource for creative ideas about relationships with grandparents or elderly friends is www.grandparentsday.com.

JACKALOPE at www.JACKALOPE.com offers many creative ideas about learning from and learning with people of different ages and from different generations.

A really fun website that has a variety of activities and links relating to grandparents is yahooligans.com. Enter the search word "grandparents" to discover activities you might enjoy.

The Newspaper Association of America's web site contains links to many newspapers in the U.S. and around the world, which may contain additional news stories about this topic. To access the newspapers at the site, select a state. Click on the "Internationals" button to view choices from other countries.

The Daytona Beach News-Journal NIE Program, published September 2, 2002

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